"We had nowhere to go": Louisville family finds help for autistic daughter 700 miles away

 

Reese Applegate is one of seven Kentucky kids with severe autism living at a facility in Kansas, receiving lifesaving care Kentucky doesn't offer.

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A Louisville family is sharing the heartbreaking decision that led them to send their 16-year-old daughter more than 700 miles away for care — a move they say ultimately saved her life.

Reese Applegate has severe autism. Her parents, Mariam and Steve Applegate, say they knew something wasn’t right almost from the beginning.

By the time Reese was 18 months old, they were searching for answers. At age five, she was officially diagnosed with autism; a diagnosis that opened the door to critical services they otherwise couldn’t afford.

“That was completely unaffordable, hundreds of dollars a week for therapy,” Mariam said.

 

A system that worked — until it didn’t

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Through elementary school, the family relied on Kentucky’s Michelle P. Waiver program, which helped cover in-home behavioral therapy. For years, it was enough to keep Reese safe at home.

But middle school brought a perfect storm: COVID disruptions and puberty.

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“That’s when things were completely out of control,” Mariam said. Reese’s behaviors became violent and unpredictable. Her parents say tantrums could last for hours — often involving self-harm.

“Biting her arms, beating her head on the walls, on the floor,” Mariam said. 

 

As Reese grew stronger, the violence escalated. She attacked family members and caregivers, shattered car windows, and at one point attacked her disabled grandfather during a family dinner. Her parents say they were often forced into survival mode. One parent would attend family gatherings, while the other stayed behind in the car with Reese, ready to leave if needed. “You live in it long enough, the judgment of others doesn’t bother you as much,” Steve said. “You’re like, ‘Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do.’ But everyone’s stopping and staring.”

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‘It wasn’t safe’

 

Last winter, everything changed. Reese was having violent outbursts daily. She attacked her mother while she was driving. She tried to hurt her younger brother. She shattered the passenger-side window of the family car with her hand.

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The Applegates padded the walls of Reese’s bedroom to keep her from hurting herself — but she ripped the padding off. They cycled through emergency rooms and psychiatric units, often waiting days for beds to open. At one point, they had no choice but to call 911.

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“They are completely not equipped to handle a situation like this,” Mariam said. Eventually, a psychiatrist at Peace Hospital agreed, they could no longer live like this. “They looked at us and said… it’s time,” Mariam said.

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But time for what?

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No place in Kentucky

 

The Applegates quickly learned Kentucky has no residential facility equipped to handle children with Reese’s level of aggression and intellectual disability. Some out-of-state facilities refused to take her because she was considered too violent. Others closer to home required families to relinquish custody.

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“The idea is you can give up custody of your child, and I absolutely will not do that,” Mariam said.

Trying to navigate Medicaid and placement options became a full-time job, one filled with dead ends. 

 

“It was a nightmare. No one could help me,” Mariam said. “Every number I had from Kentucky Medicaid said, ‘This isn’t the right number.’” “The amount of effort Mariam went through was unbelievable,” Steve added. “It was unreasonable.”

 

A story that changed everything​

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Then, a WHAS11 story aired about another Louisville teen with profound autism — Frankie  — who had been placed at a highly specialized residential facility in Wichita, Kansas. “That’s when Kansas came in, when I’d seen Frankie’s story you’d done,” Mariam said. The facility, called Heartspring, became their only hope.

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After months of paperwork, advocacy, and help from state leaders, Reese was finally accepted. On July 30, the Applegates made the 11-hour drive to Kansas; a trip marked by yet another violent outburst. “I was shaking,” Mariam said. “I said, ‘Are you going to take her? Are you going to ask us to leave?’ And they laughed and said, ‘This is why you’re here.’”

 

Thriving — 700 miles from home

 

For the first time in years, Reese is safe. And her parents say she’s happy. “She is so happy. You can hear chatter in the background when we call her,” Mariam said.

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Since arriving at Heartspring, Reese has had only two incidents requiring physical intervention — compared to the daily restraints at home. “They just love her,” Steve said. “She’s in a fantastic place that’s really good for her.”

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There are now seven Kentucky children living and learning at Heartspring. Reese’s parents make the 700-mile trip as often as they can and say the staff treats their daughter like family. “There’s not one person at Heartspring I don’t trust with Reese,” Mariam said.

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Looking ahead

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The Applegates say they hope Kentucky leaders recognize the massive gap in services for children like Reese, so families don’t have to choose between safety and separation. They recently traveled to Frankfort to hear families at Heartspring share their story with lawmakers, but say the visit left them feeling many decision-makers don’t understand the reality families like theirs live every day. Still, they say they won’t stop advocating for Reese, and for the families who haven’t yet found their way out.​